Als je denkt dat je alles weet, heb je het mis. Tenminste dat is mijn ervaring. Afgelopen week stond er in de krant een artikel dat mijn aandacht trok. Het was getiteld ‘TROUWEN MET JE HUISDIER.’ Het eerste dat ik dacht was; veel gekker moet het niet meer worden. Maar ik ben daar toch van terug gekomen. Zo gek is dat niet.
Het ideale huisdier om mee te trouwen is volgens mij een hond. Met een kat of een varken mag je ook trouwen, maar dat lijkt me niks. Varkens zijn misschien wel slim, maar uiteindelijk belanden ze vroeg of laat toch in de pan. Een kat luistert niet, dus dat schiet ook niet op, kan je net zo goed met een vent trouwen, die luistert ook niet.
Nee, een hond is perfect. Als je daar mee trouwt heb je de perfecte partner.
Hier een paar voordelen op een rij.
Je kunt rustig vreemd gaan.
Ontiegelijk veel geld uit geven.
Van je huis een vuilnisbelt maken.
Je blote stinkvoeten op de salontafel leggen.
Ongegeneerd uit je neus vreten.
Scheten laten, boeren, en noem maar op. Die hond boeit dat niet, die houdt van je en is altijd blij als hij je weer ziet. Zelfs als je midden in de nacht ladderzat thuis komt, dan ook. Bij een mens hoef je dat niet te flikken. Krijg je geheid problemen.
Een ander voordeel is dat een hond niet kan praten, je kunt hem helemaal suf lullen, je grootste geheim met hem delen, hij zwijgt als het graf en levert geen commentaar. Tv kijken is ook zoiets, vooral voor mannen is dat prettig. Ongelimiteerd voetbal kijken. Dat moet toch een heerlijk gevoel zijn. Geen vrouw die aan je kop loopt te zeuren omdat ze GTST wil kijken. Wat honden ook nooit doen, is geld uitgeven aan dure kleding. Je kunt je bankpas rustig op tafel laten liggen, hij kijkt er nog niet eens naar.
Wat ook prettig is dat je op hem kan schelden zonder dat hij terug scheld. Uit angst kruipt hij dan in zijn mand. Hoef je bij een mens niet te proberen, die schelden terug.
Nadelen heeft het ook. Een hond moet je uitlaten, ook als het koud is en het regent.
Een ander nadeel is dat je voor een hond belasting moet betalen en hij geen geld naar binnen brengt. Kinderen krijgen kan hij ook niet, maar daar kan je dan zelf wat aan doen, mogelijkheden te over, een kind is zo gemaakt.
Scheiden is ook al zoiets, als je je partner beu bent en van hem of haar af wilt staat je een hoop ellende te wachten. Met een hond is dat weer anders, je kunt hem naar het asiel brengen, aan een boom vastbinden en aan zijn lot over laten, maar dat doe je dus niet. Je zoekt een geschikte oplossing. Je maakt een zielige foto van hem en plaatst een advertentie.
‘Wegens omstandigheden goed tehuis gezocht voor…’
Of, Gratis af te halen.
En dan geef je hem ‘gewoon weg’ met mand en riem, natuurlijk.
Zo makkelijk kom je van een mens niet af.
Tot slot, mochten er mensen zijn die nog twijfelen, hier mijn advies: Een hond houdt onvoorwaardelijk van je, zijn hele leven lang, zelfs als je er een andere hond bij neemt. Moet je bij mensen niet mee aankomen.
Marian.
Marian mag ik no geen blijven liefs Cees
Geweldig hoor daar sta ik volkomen achter! Weg met de mannen….geef mij maar een hond!
ha ik zie nu het commentaar van Cees. Je zal het wel bont hebben gemaakt! Denk ik!
Ik trouw liever met een kat, die zijn wat eleganter en hygiënischer 😛
Geweldig verhaal weer, zou bijna een hond gaan nemen hahahaha
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