Zaterdag 19 Maart.  

Gisteren weer gewerkt en eerlijk gezegd was ik blij, héél blij dat ik even weg kon thuis.

Wim valt me behoorlijk op de wekker. Van de week zaten we rustig tv te kijken toen hij ineens vroeg of ik soms problemen had op mijn werk of dat er iets anders was waar ik me zorgen over maakte.

Verbaasd keek ik hem aan. “Hoezo?” vroeg ik.

“Nou,” begon hij terwijl hij het geluid van de tv zachter zette. “Ik vraag dat natuurlijk niet zomaar. Ik krijg het idee dat je iets dwars zit, iets waar je niet over wilt praten. Als er iets is moet je dat zeggen, misschien dat ik je kan helpen.”

Ik dacht aan Ruud en keek naar Wim, automatisch vergeleek ik ze met elkaar. Ruud, die zo goed uitziet, lekker in bed is en Wim die als een zoutzak de hele dag op de bank hangt. Maar ik wist dat ik iets zeggen moest, iets om hem gerust te stellen.”Er is niets aan de hand, ik ben een beetje moe , dat is alles, maak je maar geen zorgen.”

“Misschien,” ging hij verder, “werk je te veel.”

“Wim,” zei ik, terwijl ik strak voor me uitkeek. “Ik werk bij om wat extra’s te verdienen, dat geld hebben we hard nodig, dat weet jij ook.”

Even was het stil, maar heel even. “Ik weet dat we dat geld goed kunnen gebruiken en ik weet ook dat jij hoopt dat ik weer vlug aan het werk kan, maar ik zit wel met mijn rug, daar heb ik nog steeds veel last van. Maar ik zou het wel fijn vinden als je wat meer bezorgd was. Je vraagt nooit hoe het met me gaat, ook nooit of we iets leuks gaan doen, helemaal niks en dat stoort me.”

“Sorry,” zei ik heel sarcastisch, “maar, als ik hard gewerkt heb ben ik niet in de stemming om iets leuks te gaan doen.” Ik wilde nog meer zeggen, maar bedacht me op tijd. Voorlopig kon hij het daar mee doen. Ik ben ook voordat hij nog iets kon zeggen opgestaan en naar bed gegaan. Slapen kon ik natuurlijk niet, ik was klaarwakker.  Om geen argwaan te wekken zal ik van de week voorstellen om samen naar de bioscoop te gaan. Kijken of het helpt, iets anders ga ik niet met hem doen, daar heb ik geen zin in.

 

Nog even over mijn werk. Dat zou ik bijna vergeten. Gisteravond laat stond ik  net klaar om alles schoon te gaan te gaan maken toen er een man naar binnen kwam lopen. Verbaasd keek  ik op. “Sorry, dat ik zo laat nog stoor,” begon hij, “maar ik wil iets vragen.”

Ik zette de emmer met sop aan de kant en zei vriendelijk:  “ Dat kan, zegt u het maar.”

“Zou ik van u wat toiletpapier mogen lenen?” Verbaasd keek ik hem aan. “ Dat kan wel, maar…”

“Het is wel raar,” ging hij verder,  maar mijn vrouw belde net om te vragen of ik dat mee kon nemen. Ze heeft niets meer in huis en omdat ik toch hier was vroeg ze of ik wat mee kon nemen. Ik breng het morgen of zo wel weer terug.”

Even dacht ik dat hij een grapje maakte, maar toen ik hem nogeens goed aankeek zag ik dat hij het meende.

“Natuurlijk,” zei ik met een uitgestreken gezicht, “dat kan.”

Ik scheurde wat velletjes af en gaf hem die. “Ik hoop dat dit genoeg is?” vroeg ik ook nog!

Hij bekeek zet aandachtig en knikte blij. “Dank u wel,” mompelde hij blij,” ik breng het morgen weer terug.”

Toen hij weg was vroeg ik me af of ik dat zelfde papier terug kreeg! Ik hoop het niet!

Echt waar, soms valt me niks meer in!

 

 

 

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