Zaterdag 16 April.

Op mijn werk gaat het redelijk goed. Er gebeurt niets bijzonders, tenminste tot nu. Zometeen moet ik weer aantreden, maar ik heb nog even de tijd.

Afgelopen donderdag ben ik met Wim wat leuks gaan doen. Ik had het hem beloofd en eerlijk gezegd viel het me mee. Woensdagavond begon ik er over. “Weet je al wat je morgen wilt gaan doen?” Hij lachte blij en keek me verrast aan. “Ik zou best naar een leuk dierenpark willen, maar ik zie er ook tegenop om de hele dag te moeten lopen, Ik weet niet of ik dat kan volhouden, mijn rug doet vreselijk pijn. Misschien moeten we iets bedenken wat leuk is en ik niet de hele dag hoef te lopen.”

Even kreeg ik de neiging om iets hatelijks te zeggen, maar ik heb me ingehouden! “Weet je,” zei ik, “eerlijk gezegd denk ik dat het juist goed voor je is als je in beweging bent, lopen is goed voor je. In feite doe je dat veel te weinig, dus stel ik voor om toch maar naar een dierenpark te gaan, lijkt mij ook leuk.” Ik zag zijn gezicht naar beneden vallen, maar deed net alsof ik niets in de gaten had. Ik dacht, als hij nu zegt dat hij het niks vindt ga ik in mijn uppie winkelen, of ik blijf de hele dag in bed liggen.

“Jij mag ook iets leuks bedenken, het gaat me erom dat we er een leuke dag van maken. Ik wil dat we vaker samen iets gaan doen, dat het weer wordt zoals vroeger. Nu heb ik het gevoel dat je me ontloopt,” zei hij, stond op liep naar me toe en sloeg een arm om me heen.

Totaal verrast bleef ik zitten en zei niks. Ik dacht aan Ruud en vroeg me af of hij soms iets in de gaten had. “Ik werk hard en daardoor ben ik vaak moe, maar voor de rest is alles nog hetzelfde, tenminste wat mij betreft.” Ik dacht als hij nu maar niet verder gaat zitten zeuren want daar sta ik écht niet op te wachten.

“Ik begrijp het,” zei hij, “ misschien maak ik me onnodig zorgen.” Hij gaf me een zoen en een knuffel. “Ik zal proberen wat meer tijd vrij te maken,” zei ik.

Uiteindelijk zijn we toch naar een dierenpark geweest. Gelukkig was het redelijk goed weer en al met al is het me meegevallen. Wim heeft niet gezeurd, wel wilde hij vaak op een bankje zitten om uit te rusten. Dat kon ook makkelijk.

Na afloop zijn we nog ergens een hapje gaan eten. Hij was blij en heeft wel tig keer gezegd dat hij het reuze naar zijn zin had gehad en we vaker iets leuks moeten gaan doen.

Ik heb maar wat geknikt en net gedaan alsof ik het met hem eens was. Maar intussen dacht ik aan Ruud en hoe het nu verder zal gaan. Ik ben gewoon knettergek op hem, dat is het hele punt.

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