Winkelen

De meeste mannen vinden het vreselijk, de mijne niet, hij is er dol op. Daarom gaan wij ook niet shoppen, dat is meer iets voor vrouwen, aldus mijn lieftallige echtgenoot.

Eens in de zoveel tijd gaan wij dus gezellig winkelen. Ik op zoek naar koopjes, mijn man op zoek naar iets waarvan hij denkt dat mij dat leuk staat.

In iedere winkel duikt hij in de rekken met dameskleding. Zodra hij iets geschikts denkt gevonden te hebben moet ik gaan passen. ‘Hier, pas dit maar, ik weet zeker dat je dat goed staat.’ Als de prijs me bevalt duik ik gewillig de paskamer in en wurg me in het uitgezochte kledingstuk. Het gordijn blijft dicht, dat trek ik pas open als ik vind dat het uitgezochte kledingstuk me goed staat. Als het te duur is, of de kleur en het materiaal neust me niet, trek ik het uit en deel mijn man mede dat het niet past.

Zo makkelijk gaat dat, neust het me wel, mag hij keuren. Pas daarna beslissen we gezamenlijk of het wel of niet gekocht wordt. Leuk, maar ook vermoeiend, want mijn man heeft het helemaal naar zin. Hij bloeit helemaal op en trekt me iedere winkel in; hij zoekt uit en ik pas gewillig.

Anders wordt het als hij aan de beurt is en ik uitzoek.

Jassen en schoenen passen is geen probleem. Daar schiet hij lekker in, vooral schoenen zonder veter. Problematisch wordt het als hij broeken moet passen. Dan regent het smoesjes; de kleur deugt niet, het materiaal is niks en hij weet zeker dat de maat ook niet goed is.

En dan gaan we dat doen wat hij ook leuk vindt. Per slot is dat een belangrijk onderdeel van het hele gebeuren; koffiedrinken, of lunchen. Bij voorkeur alle twee.

Shoppen doe ik met vriendinnen die altijd weer opnieuw verbaasd zijn dat mijn man het zo leuk vind. Een is vreselijk jaloers op me, haar man wil nooit mee.

‘Ga maar alleen,’zegt hij altijd. Dat doet ze dan ook braaf, maar zodra ze thuiskomt met een nieuw kledingstuk, is hij de eerste die het afkeurt. ‘Het staat je niet,’zegt hij dan.

Ik vind het wel staan, zij ook, maar omdat hij vindt dat het niet staat, brengt ze het weer terug. Gevolg is een lege keerkast die leeg blijft.

Hele vergaderingen hebben we gehad om een passende oplossing voor haar probleem te vinden, tot een andere vriendin DE oplossing had. Ze wist dat hun seksleven nogal saai was en hij van haar verwachtte daar iets aan te doen. Dus deed ze dat, wat wij haar adviseerden te doen. Op een mooie zomerdag zei ze: ‘Als jij vandaag met mij gaat winkelen heb ik een verrassing voor je.’ Goed, omdat hij nieuwsgierig is én dol op verrassingen ging hij mee.

Na een uur of wat gewinkeld te hebben, moest er gepast worden. Hij moest ook mee het pashokje in, zogenaamd om te kijken of het wel paste. En daar kreeg hij dan die verrassing.

Sindsdien gaan ze héél veel samen winkelen, met hun seksleven gaat het ook weer beter.

Ik ben blij dat mijn man winkelen gewoon leuk vind. In pashokjes voel ik me nooit helemaal op mijn gemak. Wel kijk ik sindsdien altijd onder een gordijn als het erg lang dicht blijft!

Marian.

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