Wensen

De vrouw van vroeger droomde niet van een eigen carrière, maar van een eigen aanrecht, want als ze dat had, was ze voor de rest van haar leven onder de pannen.

Al op jonge leeftijd werd een meisje daarop voorbereid; ze leerde naaien, koken, verstandig met geld omgaan en hoe ze zich gedragen moest als echtgenote.

Een goede echtgenote hoorde niet alleen trouw en volgzaam te zijn, ze moest ook de wensen van haar man vervullen; in alle opzichten. Had ze dat een beetje begrepen hoefde ze enkel en alleen nog maar te wachtten op die man. Sommigen wachtten heel lang, anderen tevergeefs.

Het gros ging zelf op zoek, niet dat ze op jacht gingen, nee, ze presenteerden zichzelf

in speciale gelegenheden. Een dancing was de meest voor de hand liggende plek.

Daar had ze de meeste kans van slagen. Ze ging aan een tafeltje zitten wachten en hopen tot iemand haar ten dans kwam vragen. Hoge eisen stelde ze niet. Hij moest een goed inkomen hebben, netjes uitzien, betrouwbaar én katholiek zijn. De rest was minder belangrijk.

Als ze een geschikte kandidaat gevonden had, kon ze zich langzaam gaan voorbereiden op een huwelijk. Veel kinderen baren en de man ter wille zijn was haar taak. Daar draaide haar hele leven om.

Veel vrouwen hebben goed opgelet en kwamen al gauw tot de ontdekking dat ze zo niet wilden leven. De Dolle Mina’s deden ons de ogen open.

De vrouw van vandaag wil meer, onafhankelijk zijn, geen huishoudgeld, maar eigen geld. Ze begint met een goede opleiding te volgen en voor zichzelf op te komen.

Hoe hoger de opleiding, hoe meer geld en aanzien ze krijgt. En dat bevalt de dames wel. Ze krijgen macht, worden zelfbewuster en vrijer. Vooral dat laatste bevalt goed, zo goed dat ze heel lang geen vaste man willen. Niet gebonden zijn en genieten van de seks. Af en toe een one-night-stand en verder gaan met haar eigen leven tot ze behoefte krijgt zich te binden aan een man.

Die man moet om te beginnen ook een goed inkomen hebben, netjes en betrouwbaar zijn.

Maar… dan zijn we er nog niet, de vrouw van vandaag wil meer dan de vrouw van vroeger. Hij moet ook goed in bed zijn, fatsoenlijk geschapen, mooi zijn, én een glad geschoren lichaam hebben.  Verder moet hij luiers kunnen verwisselen, zelfstandig kunnen koken en schoonmaken. Wachten op zo’n man doet ze ook niet, nee, de vrouw van vandaag gaat op jacht.

Ze gaat naar de kroeg, alleen, of met andere vrouwen op zoek naar de geschikte kandidaat. De sportschool is de meest geschikte plek, want daar lopen de ideale types rond. Heeft ze een geschikte kandidaat gevonden, zal ze er alles aan doen, hem te veroveren. En dat is een hele opgave, want de concurrentie is groot, zeker bij mannen die uiterlijk aan het eisenpakket voldoen. Dat soort heeft het voor het uitkiezen, die genieten met volle teugen van alle aandacht en denken dat ze het helemaal voor elkaar hebben. Tot ze gaan samenwonen, dan komt de rest van het eisenpakket om de hoek kijken, presteren in bed op top niveau is leuk. Luiers verwisselen, zelfstandig kunnen koken en schoonmaken, een stuk minder. Ze raken gefrustreerd, worden moe en komen vaak in een zware depressie terecht.

Dan denken ze aan hun moeder en verlangen naar de vrouw van vroeger. Maar die bestaat niet meer, dat soort is bijna uitgestorven.

Ik ben al jaren onder de pannen, heb niet een, maar twéé eigen aanrechten, én een hele lieve man.

 

Marian.

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