TWEE.

Pas geleden zag ik op tv iets dat mijn aandacht trok. Nu gebeurt dat wel vaker, maar dit was bijzonder. Ze lieten mensen aan het woord die twee partners hebben. Op zich is dat niet spectaculair, want dat hebben wel meer mensen. Ze hebben een vaste partner en een losse. Die losse hebben ze erbij, meestal omdat ze het gewoon leuk en spannend  vinden. Maar…op het moment dat de vaste partner dat ontdekt is het ineens over. Dan hoeft het niet meer.

Maar, in dit geval is het anders. Samen wonen met twee mannen of twee vrouwen en dan bedoel ik het letterlijk, onder een dak.

Ik begin met de mannen, eerst moet je er  twee vinden die dat ook willen. Ze moeten alle twee ongeveer even oud zijn, niet superknap, maar gewoon. Dit vanwege de concurrentie.

Verder moeten ze een goedbetaalde baan hebben en ongeveer hetzelfde salaris. Die banen moeten wel variëren. Bijvoorbeeld, de een is elektricien en de ander schilder. Dat is gemakkelijk voor jou, voor als er wat gedaan moet worden in huis. Ze moeten elkaar ook aardig vinden, maar niet te aardig, want dan loop je het risico dat ze gaan samenspannen en dat mag niet. Ze moeten jou op handen dragen, alles voor  je over hebben en alles voor je doen. Zelf moet je ervoor zorgen dat je er altijd tiptop uitziet, want dat is belangrijk. Leuke kleding dragen ook. Dat kan ook makkelijk want er komen twee salarissen binnen, dus zeg je je baan op en zorgt voor het huishouden en voor die twee. Koken: let erop dat je altijd iets op tafel zet dat ze lekker vinden. Als de een dol is op spruiten en de ander niet, zet je én spruiten én iets anders op tafel. Schoonmaken doe je ook zelf, want zodra ze thuiskomen van hun werk moeten ze zich kunnen ontspannen. En dat is gunstig, want ontspannen mannen functioneren goed in bed. Dat is ook zoiets, het bed! Dat deel je, je koopt een kingsize bed en gaat tussen hen in liggen. Als de een seks wil moet de ander wachten tot hij aan de beurt is. Het beste is dat je het om en om doet. Dus, vandaag met Jan en morgen met Piet.

Als je een tuin hebt doe je dat ook zo, de ene week maait Piet het gras, de andere week Jan.

Wat je nooit moet doen is: ze tegen elkaar uitspelen. Als Piet ergens geen zin in heeft nooit zeggen ‘ik vraag het wel aan Jan.’ Gewoon zeggen ‘ik doe het zelf wel’ en dan een potje gaan zitten janken, helpt altijd.

 

Anders is het als een man met twee vrouwen gaat samenwonen. Dat vraagt om problemen.

Om te beginnen moet hij twee grote kleerkasten kopen en dat niet alleen, ook twee wastafels hebben, want ze willen wel hun eigen dingetje kunnen doen, wenkbrauwen epileren, opmaken en, gegarandeerd ook op het zelfde tijdstip. Maar stel dat je erover nadenkt om het toch te doen, let goed op. Het beste is dat ze alle twee even dik of dun zijn, neem nooit een dikke en een dunne. Dat werkt niet, want vrouwen zijn heel vaak erg jaloers. Verder moeten ze alle twee dezelfde cupmaat in de bh hebben, niet een pakken met cupmaat AA en een met Dubbel D, dat gaat onherroepelijk fout.

Wat het huishouden betreft is dat wel weer makkelijk, daar heb je dan geen omkijken meer naar. Koken kunnen ze ook samen, dat gaat prima, terwijl de een de aardappelen schilt, maakt de ander de bloemkool schoon.  In bed werkt het hetzelfde als met twee mannen. Je  slaapt tussen hen in. Met de seks is dat wel weer anders, als Annie ongesteld is, moet je begripvol zijn en niet zeggen. ‘Ik neuk de eerste vijf dagen wel met Truus.’ Nee, dat kan je niet maken. Dan moet je zeggen. ‘Ik wacht wel vijf dagen.’

Geld is altijd heel belangrijk voor vrouwen. Dat kunnen ze altijd gebruiken, want vrouwen zijn dol op winkelen. Dus zorg ervoor dat je daar genoeg van hebt. Wat je ook moet doen, is oordopjes kopen en inzetten als ze samen beginnen te kakelen. Roddelen doen vrouwen graag, ook over jou, met name als je er niet bij bent. Zeuren kunnen ze ook heel goed, het gras maaien weer niet. Dat mag je zelf doen. Klussen in huis ook, net zoals boodschappen doen.

En dan heb ik het nog niet over kinderen krijgen. Want als er een ‘per ongeluk’ zwanger raakt wil de ander dat natuurlijk ook worden, en dan heb je voordat je het weet een heel stel blagen. Die  moeten verzorgd  worden. Luiers verwisselen, flesje geven, en ’s nachts je bed uit als ze liggen te brullen, dat mag jij doen, want moeders heeft rust nodig.

Nee, twee vrouwen  is dus echt niks. Ik denk dat twee mannen leuker is, ook makkelijker en gezelliger, toch?

 

Marian.

 

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805 antwoorden op “TWEE.”

  1. Wat een fantastisch idee, ben gelijk op zoek naar een tweede man. Niet voor de seks hoor maar heerlijke massage en verwend worden. Dan nog genoeg geld hebben om te winkelen enz. Maar alle gekheid, Brrrrrr moet er niet aan denken zeg (2 mannen, een is al zo moeilijk soms).

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  164. {Tôi đã hạnh phúc hơn cả vui khám phá trang này. Tôi muốn cảm ơn bạn {vì đã|dành thời gian cho|chỉ vì điều này|vì điều này|cho bài đọc tuyệt vời này!! Tôi chắc chắn thích từng một chút nó và tôi cũng đã đánh dấu trang để xem thông tin mới trên trang web của bạn.|Tôi có thể chỉ nói rằng thật nhẹ nhõm để tìm thấy một cá nhân mà thực sự biết họ là gì đang nói về trên mạng. Bạn chắc chắn hiểu cách đưa một vấn đề ra ánh sáng và làm cho nó trở nên quan trọng. Nhiều người hơn nữa thực sự cần kiểm tra điều này và hiểu khía cạnh này của. Tôi đã ngạc nhiên rằng bạn không nổi tiếng hơn vì bạn chắc chắn sở hữu món quà.|Rất tốt bài đăng. Tôi hoàn toàn yêu thích trang web này. Tiếp tục làm tốt!|Thật khó tìm những người có học thức trong chủ đề cụ thể này, tuy nhiên, bạn nghe có vẻ bạn biết mình đang nói gì! Cảm ơn|Bạn cần tham gia một cuộc thi dành cho một blog trên web tốt nhất. Tôi sẽ Rất khuyến nghị trang web này!|Một cuộc thảo luận thú vị đáng giá bình luận. Tôi tin rằng bạn cần xuất bản thêm về vấn đề này, nó có thể không là một điều cấm kỵ chủ đề nhưng thường xuyên mọi người không nói về những chủ đề như vậy. Đến phần tiếp theo! Chúc mọi điều tốt đẹp nhất.|Xin chào! Tôi chỉ muốn cho bạn một rất to cho thông tin xuất sắc bạn có ngay tại đây trên bài đăng này. Tôi đang trở lại trang web của bạn để biết thêm thông tin sớm nhất.|Sau khi tôi ban đầu bình luận tôi có vẻ như đã nhấp hộp kiểm -Thông báo cho tôi khi có bình luận mới- và từ bây giờ mỗi lần được thêm vào tôi nhận được 4 email cùng chính xác một bình luận. Phải có một phương tiện bạn có thể xóa tôi khỏi dịch vụ đó không? Cảm ơn bạn.|Lần sau nữa Tôi đọc một blog, Tôi hy vọng rằng nó không làm tôi thất vọng nhiều như bài này. Ý tôi là, Vâng, đó là sự lựa chọn của tôi để đọc, nhưng tôi thực sự nghĩ bạn sẽ có điều gì đó hữu ích để nói. Tất cả những gì tôi nghe được là một loạt tiếng rên rỉ về điều gì đó mà bạn có thể sửa nếu bạn không quá bận tìm kiếm sự chú ý.|Đúng với bài viết này, tôi thành thật tin trang web này cần nhiều hơn nữa sự chú ý.

  165. {Tôi khá hài lòng để tìm thấy trang này. Tôi cần cảm ơn bạn {vì đã|dành thời gian cho|chỉ vì điều này|vì điều này|cho bài đọc tuyệt vời này!! Tôi chắc chắn thích từng một chút nó và tôi đã đánh dấu để xem thông tin mới trên trang web của bạn.|Tôi có thể chỉ nói rằng thật thoải mái để tìm thấy một người mà thực sự hiểu họ là gì đang nói về trên web. Bạn thực sự nhận ra cách đưa một rắc rối ra ánh sáng và làm cho nó trở nên quan trọng. Nhiều người hơn phải xem điều này và hiểu khía cạnh này của. Tôi đã ngạc nhiên rằng bạn không nổi tiếng hơn vì bạn chắc chắn sở hữu món quà.|Rất tốt bài viết trên blog. Tôi hoàn toàn đánh giá cao trang web này. Cảm ơn!|Thật gần như không thể tìm thấy những người có học thức về điều này, nhưng bạn có vẻ bạn biết mình đang nói gì! Cảm ơn|Bạn cần tham gia một cuộc thi dành cho một trang web trực tuyến tốt nhất. Tôi chắc chắn sẽ khuyến nghị trang web này!|Một cuộc thảo luận thú vị đáng giá bình luận. Tôi nghĩ rằng bạn cần viết thêm về chủ đề này, nó có thể không là một điều cấm kỵ vấn đề nhưng điển hình mọi người không nói về vấn đề như vậy. Đến phần tiếp theo! Chúc mọi điều tốt đẹp nhất.|Xin chào! Tôi chỉ muốn đề nghị rất cho thông tin tuyệt vời bạn có ngay tại đây trên bài đăng này. Tôi sẽ là trở lại trang web của bạn để biết thêm thông tin sớm nhất.|Sau khi tôi ban đầu để lại bình luận tôi có vẻ như đã nhấp hộp kiểm -Thông báo cho tôi khi có bình luận mới- và từ bây giờ bất cứ khi nào có bình luận được thêm vào tôi nhận được bốn email có cùng nội dung. Có lẽ có một phương pháp dễ dàng bạn có thể xóa tôi khỏi dịch vụ đó không? Chúc mừng.|Lần sau Tôi đọc một blog, Hy vọng rằng nó không làm tôi thất vọng nhiều như bài này. Rốt cuộc, Vâng, đó là sự lựa chọn của tôi để đọc hết, tuy nhiên tôi thực sự nghĩ bạn sẽ có điều gì đó hữu ích để nói. Tất cả những gì tôi nghe được là một loạt phàn nàn về điều gì đó mà bạn có thể sửa nếu bạn không quá bận tìm kiếm sự chú ý.|Đúng với bài viết này, tôi thực sự nghĩ trang web này cần nhiều hơn nữa sự chú ý.

  166. {Tôi đã rất vui khám phá trang web này. Tôi cần cảm ơn bạn {vì đã|dành thời gian cho|chỉ vì điều này|vì điều này|cho bài đọc tuyệt vời này!! Tôi chắc chắn thích từng một phần nó và tôi cũng đã đánh dấu trang để xem những thứ mới trong trang web của bạn.|Tôi có thể chỉ nói rằng thật nhẹ nhõm để khám phá một người thực sự hiểu họ là gì đang nói về trên internet. Bạn chắc chắn biết cách đưa một rắc rối ra ánh sáng và làm cho nó trở nên quan trọng. Nhiều người hơn nữa cần phải đọc điều này và hiểu khía cạnh này câu chuyện của bạn. Thật ngạc nhiên bạn không nổi tiếng hơn vì bạn chắc chắn sở hữu món quà.|Rất hay bài đăng. Tôi chắc chắn đánh giá cao trang web này. Cảm ơn!|Thật khó tìm những người có hiểu biết sâu rộng về điều này, tuy nhiên, bạn nghe có vẻ bạn biết mình đang nói gì! Cảm ơn|Bạn cần tham gia một cuộc thi dành cho một trang web trên internet có chất lượng cao nhất. Tôi sẽ Rất khuyến nghị trang web này!|Một cuộc thảo luận thú vị chắc chắn đáng giá bình luận. Tôi nghĩ rằng bạn nên viết thêm về chủ đề này, nó có thể không là một điều cấm kỵ vấn đề nhưng điển hình mọi người không thảo luận những chủ đề như vậy. Đến phần tiếp theo! Chúc mọi điều tốt đẹp nhất!|Xin chào! Tôi chỉ muốn cho bạn một rất to cho thông tin tuyệt vời bạn có ở đây trên bài đăng này. Tôi sẽ là trở lại trang web của bạn để biết thêm thông tin sớm nhất.|Khi tôi ban đầu bình luận tôi có vẻ như đã nhấp hộp kiểm -Thông báo cho tôi khi có bình luận mới- và từ bây giờ mỗi lần được thêm vào tôi nhận được bốn email có cùng nội dung. Có một phương pháp dễ dàng bạn có thể xóa tôi khỏi dịch vụ đó không? Chúc mừng.|Lần sau nữa Tôi đọc một blog, Tôi hy vọng rằng nó sẽ không thất bại nhiều như bài này. Rốt cuộc, Vâng, đó là sự lựa chọn của tôi để đọc, dù sao thì tôi thực sự tin bạn sẽ có điều gì đó thú vị để nói. Tất cả những gì tôi nghe được là một loạt rên rỉ về điều gì đó mà bạn có thể sửa nếu bạn không quá bận tìm kiếm sự chú ý.|Đúng với bài viết này, tôi thành thật nghĩ trang web tuyệt vời này cần nhiều hơn nữa sự chú ý.

  167. {Tôi đã khá hài lòng khám phá trang web này. Tôi cần cảm ơn bạn {vì đã|dành thời gian cho|chỉ vì điều này|vì điều này|cho bài đọc tuyệt vời này!! Tôi chắc chắn yêu thích từng một phần nó và tôi đã đánh dấu trang để xem những thứ mới trên trang web của bạn.|Tôi có thể chỉ nói rằng thật nhẹ nhõm để tìm thấy một người thực sự biết họ là gì thảo luận trên internet. Bạn thực sự biết cách đưa một rắc rối ra ánh sáng và làm cho nó trở nên quan trọng. Nhiều người hơn thực sự cần kiểm tra điều này và hiểu khía cạnh này câu chuyện của bạn. Tôi đã ngạc nhiên bạn không nổi tiếng hơn vì bạn chắc chắn có món quà.|Rất hay bài viết. Tôi chắc chắn đánh giá cao trang web này. Tiếp tục với nó!|Thật gần như không thể tìm thấy những người có hiểu biết sâu rộng về điều này, tuy nhiên, bạn có vẻ bạn biết mình đang nói gì! Cảm ơn|Bạn cần tham gia một cuộc thi dành cho một blog trực tuyến hữu ích nhất. Tôi sẽ khuyến nghị blog này!|Một động lực chắc chắn đáng giá bình luận. Tôi nghĩ rằng bạn cần viết thêm về vấn đề này, nó có thể không là một điều cấm kỵ vấn đề nhưng điển hình mọi người không nói về chủ đề như vậy. Đến phần tiếp theo! Cảm ơn rất nhiều!|Xin chào! Tôi chỉ muốn cho bạn một rất cho thông tin tuyệt vời bạn có ở đây trên bài đăng này. Tôi đang quay lại blog của bạn để biết thêm thông tin sớm nhất.|Sau khi tôi ban đầu để lại bình luận tôi có vẻ như đã nhấp vào hộp kiểm -Thông báo cho tôi khi có bình luận mới- và bây giờ bất cứ khi nào có bình luận được thêm vào tôi nhận được bốn email cùng chính xác một bình luận. Phải có một phương tiện bạn có thể xóa tôi khỏi dịch vụ đó không? Cảm ơn rất nhiều.|Lần sau Tôi đọc một blog, Hy vọng rằng nó không làm tôi thất vọng nhiều như bài này. Rốt cuộc, Vâng, đó là sự lựa chọn của tôi để đọc hết, dù sao thì tôi thực sự nghĩ bạn sẽ có điều gì đó hữu ích để nói về. Tất cả những gì tôi nghe được là một loạt tiếng rên rỉ về điều gì đó mà bạn có thể sửa nếu bạn không quá bận tìm kiếm sự chú ý.|Đúng với bài viết này, tôi hoàn toàn nghĩ trang web này cần nhiều hơn nữa sự chú ý.

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