Bijna iedereen heeft ze, ik ook, ik heb drie zonen, drie hele lieve kleinkinderen en drie schoondochters, die kreeg ik er gratis bij. Leuk en gezellig.
Als je van kinderen houdt lijkt het je leuk om ze te krijgen. Maar dat lukt niet altijd, sommige mensen hebben de pech dat ze kinderloos blijven, er zijn ook mensen die geen kinderen willen. Goed, iedereen is anders. Kinderen ook.
Op het moment dat ze op de wereld komen ben je ouder en heb je een hele verantwoording. Dag en nacht ben je met zo’n hummeltje bezig, je komt slaap tekort, maar dat heb je er voor over want je bent zielsgelukkig. Als ze gaan lopen loop je de hele dag achter je kindje aan, het opvoeden begint. En dat is niet eenvoudig, je word er knap moe van.
Een beetje vrije tijd krijg je als ze naar school gaan. Je brengt ze en haalt ze op. Intussen blijf je bezig met opvoeden. Dat lukt vrij aardig tot ze gaan puberen! Dan zijn er van die momenten dat je ze achter het behang wilt plakken. Een grote mond opzetten, niet luisteren en afspraken niet nakomen. In hun ogen loop je vreselijk te zeuren en snap je er echt niets van.
Maar, ze worden ouder en heel langzaam volwassen. De band die er is wordt hechter, ze gaan nadenken en komen tot de conclusie dat je het zo slecht nog niet deed. Ze komen advies vragen en dat geef je ze graag. Je gaat ook anders met ze om, meer vriendschappelijk en dat is mooi. Zo hoort het eigenlijk.
En dan komt onherroepelijk de dag dat je eerste kleinkind geboren wordt. Overgelukkig en vreselijk trots ben je en je geniet elke keer weer opnieuw.
Maar je word ouder en dat zien je kinderen, je vergeet hier en daar wat, maar dat hoort erbij.
Je kinderen gaan jou advies geven en voor jou zorgen. Leuk? Het kan leuk zijn. Minder leuk is het als ze een opmerking maken die je niet wilt horen.
‘Mam, wanneer ga je lijnen?’
‘Wanneer gooi je die lelijke blauwe broek eens weg, daar loop je écht voor schut mee.’
‘De ijskast is leeg.’
‘Kan je mijn goede jeans ff wassen, die wil ik straks aan.’
‘Kijk je nu alweer naar Goede Tijden?’
Zo zijn er ongetwijfeld nog veel meer dingen die je niet wilt horen, maar het kan nog erger.
Kinderen die hun moeder meeslepen naar Gordon! Ik heb er al over geschreven, maar sommige mensen begrijp ik écht niet. Ze laten zich gewoon publiekelijk afzeiken! Maar, ze krijgen er wel wat voor terug! Een nieuwe outfit en een nieuwe look! Geweldig!
Wat ook vaak gebeurt is dat ze door omstandigheden weer thuis komen wonen.
Ze komen met een verhuiswagen vol meubels die ze zolang bij jou willen neerzetten. Goed, een kastje of een bed gaat, maar een bankstel én een hele volle boekenkast is teveel. Maar je wilt ze helpen en niet zeuren, dus ga je schuiven, houd je mond en hoopt dat je muren van elastiek zijn!
Maar, dat is pas het begin. Héél langzaam gaan ze jou opvoeden. Je ‘mag’ hun brood klaarmaken, maar je moet het wel fatsoenlijk doen. Geen margarine, dat is niet lekker, een plakje vlees is véél te weinig, en niet in een plastic zakje doen, graag in een trommeltje.
Met het avondeten gaat het niet anders. je krijgt een hele waslijst van dingen die ze niet lekker vinden. ‘Vroeger moest ik dat eten, maar ik vind het smerig, maak maar iets anders,’ zeggen ze dan.
Een kratje bier en frisdrank moet altijd in huis zijn, dat is vanzelfsprekend.
De vuile was laten ze op hun slaapkamer liggen, het bed maken ze niet op. ‘Daar zie ik het nut niet van in, ik kruip er wel zo in.’
Dan denk je met weemoed terug aan vroeger en aan de tijd dat ze nog naar je luisterden. Maar, als ze dan weer vertrekken mis je ze. Het is stil in huis, dus stuur je ze een berichtje.
Ik mis je en ik houd van je. Xx.
Zo gaat dat, kinderen groeien op en gaan hun eigen weg, maar ze zijn en blijven altijd onze kinderen. Altijd!
En als ze dan Door omstandigheden terug komen met een kind proberen ze nog om jou leven te veranderen in het zo zij het willen. Maar ja je doet zoveel mogelijk je best en leef in goede vrede.
Nu na 13 jaar verder te zijn ben je nog steeds de liefste en beste Moeder, daar doe je het toch voor ???
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