Al vanaf dat je heel klein was werd je vroeger duidelijk gemaakt dat je leven op aarde er toe diende om God te dienen om in het hiernamaals gelukkig te worden. Het hiernamaals was de hemel, als je daar terecht kwam zat je goed, daar bleef je voor eeuwig, kreeg een gouden stoeltje en mocht naast de engeltjes zitten. Maar…dan moest je wel heel braaf zijn, héél erg braaf en vooral geen zonden begaan. Al heel jong leerde je bidden; handjes vouwen, kruisje slaan en oogjes dicht, voor het eten en na het eten. Dat hoorde zo, want God ziet alles…
Een paar jaar later werd je voorbereid op je eerste communie. Dat hield in dat je er echt bij hoorde want dan kwam God in je zieltje wonen en daar ging een heel ritueel aan vooraf. Het belangrijkste was dat dat zieltje schoon was, vlekkeloos schoon. Als je iets gedaan had dat fout was beging je een zonde en had je een vlekje op je ziel, een kleine zonde was bijvoorbeeld stiekem een snoepje pikken uit de trommel of zoiets, grote zonden noemden ze doodzonden, een doodzonde was bijvoorbeeld moord, onkuisheid en vloeken. Als je die begaan had en je stierf zonder dat je gebiecht had en mijnheer Pastoor je je zonden vergeven had ging je naar de hel. En ook daar bleef je ook eeuwig, je zat daar niet op een gouden stoeltje naast een engel, maar naast de duivel in het vuur. Dus daar had niemand trek in, je was als de dood dat je daar terecht kwam, Dus deed je alles om dat te voorkomen, braaf leven en je helemaal suf biechten. Want als je gebiecht had en je berouw toonde vergaf mijnheer Pastoor je je zonden en was je zieltje weer schoon, want wat hij zei was heilig. Hij bemoeide zich overal mee, niet alleen toen je klein was, ook tijdens je verdere leven. Onkuisheid begaan was zo’n ding, dat mocht niet voor het huwelijk, wel erna. Dan moest een vrouw de man ter wille zijn en veel kinderen baren, hoe meer hoe beter het huwelijk was. Kwam er een jaar geen kind dan was hij degene die op bezoek kwam om te vragen wat er aan de hand was. Na dat bezoek rende moeders met vader naar boven en bedreef de liefde, niet uit lust, maar uit plichtsgevoel.
Naar de kerk gaan was ook iets dat hij in de gaten hield, iedere zondag moest dat, ging je niet had je er weer een zonde bij. De vastentijd was ook heel belangrijk, die begon op Aswoensdag en eindigde paaszaterdag klokslag twaalf uur. Gedurende die tijd moest je matig zijn met alles, dat hoorde zo. Weinig eten, veel naar de kerk gaan en op vrijdag geen vlees, wel vis, dat mocht dan wel weer. Kleine kinderen mochten gedurende die tijd niet snoepen, deed je dat toch had je er weer een zonde bij, een kleine dagelijkse zonde, dat dan wel.
Ik weet nog dat ik een snoeptrommeltje had en daar alle snoepjes die ik gedurende die periode kreeg in moest stoppen. Bewaren voor na de vasten. Op paaszaterdag zat ik dan al heel vroeg op het randje van mijn bed mét dat snoeptrommeltje op mijn schoot te wachten tot de kerkklok ging luiden. Zodra de eerste geluiden door het hele dorp galmden mocht je je uitleven. Mijn trommeltje was altijd binnen een uur leeg, maar dat maakte niet uit. Het mocht!
Ik moest hier aan terug denken toen ik pas geleden de krant opensloeg en me naderhand afvroeg waar ik terecht kom als ik dood ga. Ik denk in de hemel want de hel zit volgens mij vol met mensen die een groot deel van hun leven een zwarte lange jurk droegen en ons erop wezen dat God alles ziet, want dat klopt: GOD ZIET INDERDAAD ALLES!
Marian.
Echt weer een verhaal uit het leven gegrepen…zo was het vroeger en als kind geloofde je dat ook. Nou jou trommeltje leeg in een uur, ik deed er niet zolang over hoor. Wat gek eigenlijk als je er op terug kijk.
Maar het was weer een goed verhaal.
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