Er zijn twee soorten behoefte, je kunt ergens behoefte aan hebben, of je behoefte moeten doen. De eerste is duidelijk en saai, daar wil ik het dus niet over hebben.

De tweede is een stuk interessanter, behoefte doen zegt geen mens, tenminste niet dat ik weet. Hooguit iemand die van stand is, de kakkers. Normale mensen zeggen, poepen, schijten, kakken, een drol draaien, noem maar op. Anders wordt het als je aan de diarree bent, dan zeg je weer iets anders: ‘Ik ben aan de schijt, aan de dunne, ik heb racekak, ben aan de spetterpoep of  aan de sproeipoep. Iedereen heeft er weleens last van; ik ook.

Meestal gaat het goed, soms kan het gebeuren dat het misgaat, je denkt dat je een scheet moet laten en dan heb je zomaar ineens je broek vol hangen. Mij gebeurde dat een keer toen ik op weg was naar de pedicure. Ik had nergens last van, liep vrolijk de deur uit en net toen ik halverwege was gebeurde het! Ik dácht dat ik een poepje moest laten, ik dacht het echt, had geen buikpijn, niks, helemaal niks. Totdat ik het liet, in no time had ik mijn broek vol. Tja, daar sta je dan, niet met je mond vol, maar met je broek vol. Me erlangs schijten was geen optie. Ik moest naar huis én afbellen, want zo iemand werkt op afspraak. Tja, wat ga je dan zeggen? ‘’Sorry, ik heb net in mijn broek gescheten?’ Nee, dus. Ik heb hem ( Ja, het was een hij) gebeld en gezegd dat ik niet kon komen omdat ik me niet goed voelde! In feite was dat ook zo, ik voelde me inderdaad niet goed. Thuis kon ik niet aankomen met een smoesje, ze roken me al van verre! Tja, en dan ga je dat doen wat dringend noodzakelijk is: DE BOEL SCHOONMAKEN.


Een ander verhaal hoorde ik van een kennis van een kennis! De persoon in kwestie was nogal dol op Pizza, geen gewone, maar Pizza Stromboli, en dan het liefst met extra veel peper, pili pili. Die at hij een keer buitenshuis, heerlijk vond hij het, hij genoot met volle teugen. De dag erna moest hij werken, en net voordat hij de deur wilde uitgaan kreeg hij aandrang. Maar omdat het al vrij laat was en hij op tijd op zijn werk moest zijn, besloot hij het er op te wagen. Een maal in de auto steeg het weer een beetje, maar niet lang. Bij iedere hoek werd de aandrang sterker, de goede man kreeg het behoorlijk benauwd, hij begon te zweten en te trillen omdat hij wist dat hij het niet ging halen. Midden op straat gaan zitten schijten gaat niet in dit land, maar wat dan? Hij keek naar de huizen en winkels die hij voorbij reed, en ineens had hij het! Hij stopte voor een grote bloemenzaak, stormde daar naar binnen en vloog zonder iets te vragen of te zeggen naar de wc. Pff, wat een genot was dat. Hij kakte zich helemaal leeg, waste zijn handen en liep met een stalen gezicht zonder iets te zeggen weer naar buiten. Ik weet niet wat die mensen gedacht hebben, maar ik denk dat ze niet blij waren. De bloemen konden ze  niet meer verkopen, die lieten in no time hun kopjes hangen. Of hij nog terug is geweest om zijn excuus aan te bieden, weet ik ook niet. Ik denk het niet, want wat had hij moeten doen?  Een bloemetje meebrengen? En zeggen het spijt me? Nee, dat gaat echt niet!



Please follow and like us:

76 antwoorden op “Behoefte”

  1. Haha, een gewaarschuwd mens telt voor 2. Vanaf nu maar even dubbel checken voor ik weg gaof er niets zit aan te komen.

  2. I see You’re in point of fact a excellent webmaster. The site loading velocity is amazing.

    It seems that you are doing any unique trick.
    Moreover, the contents are masterpiece. you
    have performed a great task in this topic! Similar here: ecommerce and also here:

  3. Hey! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with SEO?
    I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m
    not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share.
    Many thanks! You can read similar art here: Sklep

  4. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my site to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results.
    If you know of any please share. Thanks! You can read
    similar text here: Backlink Building

  5. I will right away take hold of your rss as I can not find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service. Do you’ve any? Kindly allow me understand so that I may subscribe. Thanks!

  6. This is the perfect web site for anybody who wishes to find out about this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not that I actually would want to…HaHa). You certainly put a fresh spin on a topic that’s been discussed for ages. Wonderful stuff, just excellent.

  7. Having read this I thought it was rather informative. I appreciate you taking the time and effort to put this article together. I once again find myself spending way too much time both reading and leaving comments. But so what, it was still worthwhile!

  8. Undeniably consider that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be at the web the simplest factor to take into account of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed even as other folks consider concerns that they plainly do not recognize about. You controlled to hit the nail upon the highest and also outlined out the entire thing with no need side-effects , folks could take a signal. Will likely be again to get more. Thank you

  9. Hello there! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with SEO?

    I’m trying to get my site to rank for some targeted keywords but
    I’m not seeing very good success. If you know of any please share.

    Many thanks! You can read similar art here:

  10. I blog frequently and I truly thank you for your content. This great article has really peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your site and keep checking for new details about once a week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  11. You’re so cool! I don’t believe I’ve truly read something like that before. So good to find another person with a few original thoughts on this issue. Seriously.. thank you for starting this up. This website is one thing that is needed on the web, someone with some originality.

  12. We are a group of volunteers and opening a new system in our community. Your web site provided us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done an impressive job and our entire community will be grateful to you.

  13. I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the excellent quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one these days.. xrumer

  14. Simply desire to say your article is as astounding. The clearness in your post is simply spectacular and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.

  15. This is the right weblog for wishes to be made aware of this topic. You realize so much its practically hard to argue along with you (not that I actually would want…HaHa). You actually put the latest spin with a topic thats been discussing for years. Excellent stuff, just fantastic!

  16. I just stumbled on your blog when i was lookng on google. I have to say that the information here was the most complet that I found anywhere. I am definitly bookmarkin this to come bck and read later

  17. Hello there, I do think your blog might be having internet browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your website in Safari, it looks fine however, when opening in IE, it has some overlapping issues. I merely wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Other than that, excellent blog!

  18. Simply desire to say your article is as surprising. The clarity to your publish is just great and that i can think you are a professional on this subject. Well together with your permission let me to clutch your RSS feed to keep up to date with imminent post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please continue the gratifying work.

  19. Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Many thanks Nonetheless We are experiencing problem with ur rss . Do not know why Can not sign up for it. Possibly there is anybody finding identical rss issue? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  20. I would like to thank you for the efforts you have put in writing this blog. I really hope to see the same high-grade blog posts from you in the future as well. In fact, your creative writing abilities has encouraged me to get my own, personal site now 😉

  21. Everyone who is all the same undecided: attract your chosen earphones, go to a Greatest coupe and enquire for connector all of within Microsoft zune therefore a music player and figure out what kind sounds somewhat much better to families, while exactly which vent allows you to be teeth whole lot more. You’ll learn and that right for you.

  22. Can I just say thats a relief to locate someone that truly knows what theyre referring to online. You certainly understand how to bring a concern to light and produce it essential. Workout . should look at this and understand this side from the story. I cant believe youre not more well-liked when you certainly contain the gift.

  23. Can I just say what a relief to locate somebody that really knows what theyre discussing on-line. You definitely realize how to bring a problem to light to make it critical. Workout . ought to check out this and fully grasp this side of your story. I cant believe youre no more well-liked since you also definitely provide the gift.

  24. Thank you designed for ad the following, It’s quickly what precisely As i seemed to be looking for for the purpose of upon yahoo. I’d quite a lot reasonably pick up viewpoints at a individual, a bit when compared with a business web page, that’s the reason I really like web logs for that reason a lot. Bless you!

  25. Well, the article is really the freshest on this notable topic. I agree with your conclusions and will certainly thirstily look forward to your approaching updates. Saying thanks definitely will not just be acceptable, for the excellent clarity in your writing. I will promptly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Pleasant work and also much success in your business efforts!

  26. This is such an informationrmative post and very clearly written. Every single thought and idea is direct to the point. Perfectly laid out. thank you for taking your time sharing this to you readers.

  27. Nice post. I find out some thing more challenging on different blogs everyday. Most commonly it is stimulating to read content using their company writers and exercise a little something from their site. I’d choose to apply certain together with the content on my own weblog regardless of whether you do not mind. Natually I’ll offer you a link in your internet weblog. Many thanks sharing.

  28. I’m impressed, I must say. Truly rarely do I encounter a weblog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail around the head. Your concept is outstanding; the problem is an element that insufficient persons are speaking intelligently about. We are delighted we stumbled across this around my look for something concerning this.

  29. Attractive component of content. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to say that I get in fact enjoyed account your weblog posts. Anyway I will be subscribing in your augment and even I fulfillment you get right of entry to persistently fast.

  30. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

  31. I do love the way you have presented this specific situation plus it does supply us some fodder for consideration. Nevertheless, from everything that I have experienced, I simply just trust as other commentary pile on that people stay on point and don’t embark on a tirade involving the news du jour. Still, thank you for this superb piece and even though I do not necessarily agree with the idea in totality, I regard your perspective.

  32. I would like to show some appreciation to you for rescuing me from this particular situation. As a result of surfing throughout the the net and seeing opinions which were not powerful, I assumed my entire life was over. Existing devoid of the solutions to the difficulties you’ve fixed through your report is a critical case, as well as ones that would have adversely affected my entire career if I hadn’t noticed your web page. Your know-how and kindness in playing with all areas was tremendous. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t encountered such a solution like this. I can also now relish my future. Thanks for your time so much for the high quality and amazing guide. I won’t hesitate to endorse the sites to anyone who should have counselling about this subject matter.

  33. I have taken note that of all kinds of insurance, health insurance coverage is the most marked by controversy because of the issue between the insurance policy company’s necessity to remain adrift and the consumer’s need to have insurance plan. Insurance companies’ revenue on health plans are certainly low, as a result some corporations struggle to earn profits. Thanks for the tips you reveal through this site.

  34. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment. I believe that you should publish more on this topic, it might not be a taboo subject but usually folks don’t talk about these subjects. To the next! Best wishes!

  35. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something too few people are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I stumbled across this during my hunt for something regarding this.

Geef een reactie

Het e-mailadres wordt niet gepubliceerd. Vereiste velden zijn gemarkeerd met *